Synopsis

Donna takes us on a journey as she uncovers the life lived by her deceased biological father whom she never met. Along the way, she uncovers great similarities and bumps into the psychological and ethical issues surrounding donor conception. Her mother had been artificially inseminated in the early 1960s. However, it remained a secret until she was about 30 years old when she was told that she had been donor conceived. Everything was kept anonymous as clinics and parents still attempt to do today. When she learned the truth, it confounded her but also validated a lot of what she had been feeling throughout her life; not only was her relationship with the father she knew strained but she never felt like she fit in with her family and always had a sense there was something missing. In short, she was somehow a mystery to her parents and herself.

Donna’s curiosity about her biological father always hovered a few inches from her heart. The only information she could assume was that he was Jewish and most likely a medical resident. After over 20 years of searching, she finally discovered his identity through a DNA test. She learned from a paternal cousin that her biological father had been a doctor, an artist, and a humanitarian. Sadly, she also learned he had already passed. But knowing this only ignited her desire to learn more about him; to understand the man who was a part of her very being. In the film, she interviews his closest friends and, through these conversations, discovers how loved he was, and how much he struggled emotionally. It is bittersweet when she is told countless times that he truly wondered about his potential offspring, especially since he apparently grieved about never being able to have children of his own. 

Through the on-line DNA test, she also discovered four donor-conceived half-sisters and, through their conversations, learns that they, too, grew up feeling different from their nuclear families. She also learns that they all feel a sense of enduring loss never having been able to meet their genetic father. The lesson that Donna reconciles is that it is more nature than nurture that determines the dynamics of our personalities. She interviews advocates in the donor-conception community and learns that it is in fact an “innate human desire to want to know where we come from and who we come from.” The question of why it is that all these years donor conceived people have been denied the knowledge of half their identity is indeed provoking. But one question begets another and yet another. 

The making of this film was Donna's way of connecting with the father she never met but seemingly was always a part of her. At the same time, it provides a voice for the donor-conceived community who desire to know and/or have a relationship with their genetic parents. There’s much to consider when donating or accepting donor gametes but it seems the industry avoids educating people fearing that the truth may negatively impact revenue. Her hope is that this film will raise awareness around donor conception and help advocate for the legal rights and emotional needs of donors and the donor-conceived.